When we go through a difficult period or even a tragic loss, we all want the suffering to end, and that's a very normal expectation.
To ever have a chance to heal, you have to feel and there is no way around it and feeling takes time. Sometimes it is feeling sad, other times it is anger, frustration, confusion and even abject defeat.
All of these emotions (and many more) are the same emotions that can bring healing. When you know hurt, you will also appreciate joy a little more, When you endure loss, you will also come to know a deeper appreciation for what you do have in your life.
However, it takes time. It NEEDS time.
I am just over two years since my son Zachary tragically lost his life to an overdose. I am NOT "over it". I suspect I will never be but I do believe with time that I can learn to live with it and, despite the tragedy, I can still experience a happy and productive life.
Baby steps, a rollercoaster of feelings and time.
So be patient with yourself.