Difficulties come, it is part of life. Some of them can be classed as a challenge or maybe just a slight problem. Others can fall under the category of devastating and thereby feel (in the moment at least) insurmountable. Whatever version you are faced with, it can all fall under the umbrella of "pain".
So if some level of pain is inevitable, the question remains, what do we do with it?
It is natural that when you are deeply saddened or hurt by someone or something, you will feel the feelings associated with that and you need to porcess those feelings. It is essential you go through the hurting process if you are to ever come out on the other side better and closer to the healing needed after such an experience.
The key is to not stay there. Yes it hurts and yes, it can be devastating, yet you still have the power to decide to use your pain (in the appropriate amount of time) to propel you forward.
I have a friend who tragically lost a child, she is now advocates and runs a charity in support of those who struggle like her son did. That is using pain to propel you forward.
I like what J.K Rowling said, "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default".
So instead of letting pain punish us, we can use that pain to propel us forward.
I know it takes time, but give yourself that gift. You have one life and life gives us both the good and the bad, so let's not simply accept the bad without availing of the good.
Use pain or let it use you.