The Illusion Of Control

The more I move towards acceptance that control is an illusion we satiate ourselves with to help us deal with the challenge at hand, the "easier" life seems to get. I dedicated a section of Chapter 3 in my book My Child Is An Addict to this very topic. Below is a brief excerpt:

Outside of my own thoughts,  decisions, and reactions to what life puts in front of me, I don’t think there is much left that I do control. Yes, we can (and do) debate and struggle to gain some perception of control, but at the end of the day, what others choose to do is simply out of our hands. Consider any past situations you remember trying so desperately to manage (control). How did it turn out? Ask yourself if attempting to fix, negotiate, argue, demand, or put your foot down actually solved the issue. It is my belief that the more you observe your habit of trying to control things, the more you will notice its futility. I am not for a second suggesting that you don’t work with the situation as best you can in an effort to influence the best outcome possible; however, do not confuse effort and input with having control. Attempting to control another’s behaviour and decisions is a frustrating and dead-end road.

The most immediate way I know of to make your day a little less stressful and more manageable is to let go of managing outcomes. Do the best you can, know there are some things you cannot do and let the rest go. Who knows, the outcome might be even better than you expected!